Still sick, and I’m reaching the point where I’m having to admit I may not make a win this year. If I write an average of 3,237 words a day, I can cross the finish line before December 1, but given that I’m sitting here hacking up a lung and have been barely able to concentrate on anything for the past several days — and have to focus my energies on the day job for the next three days — I’m not counting on it.
It’s adversity and a confluence of situations conspiring against me. I haven’t been this sick in a while (I caught the flu in early October and haven’t really recovered), and I believe much of this is the result of being worn down by events of the past year. Several times, recently, I’ve complained to my husband that I feel like I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel when it comes to both emotional and physical energy; it’s as if nothing more than the tension surrounding my mother-in-law’s condition during her final illness kept us going. She passed, the tension released (replaced by new tensions, but not as intense), and the body said, “You’re done.” Seriously, for six weeks after her memorial, I found myself tired and trying to get my act together. Then I got sick and it’s been that way ever since.
A few days ago, I wrote about allowing yourself to be stopped by forces outside you can say no to. This is one of those that you can’t control. I must go into work these three days, which isn’t going to help my recovery. I must see the relatives for Thanksgiving dinner — though if we are invited to do the extended family at the last minute, I’m definitely using this as an excuse. Those I can’t control and they are going to have an impact.
As the craziness of the holiday season starts, be good to yourself. Get your flu shot, get plenty of rest, eat right, drink water, and be sure to refill the creative well. Trust me, you don’t want to find yourself hitting empty just because you didn’t pay attention to the signs.
Maybe I can count blog posts for NaNo….